Being born in a family where each day you just about manage to get by on
the little that you have, isn't what most of us can imagine. I can't
either.
But then 'you' chose to rise above those walls. And you still make me proud,after all these years. Strange thing, isn't it? Children being proud of their parents.
If only i could be so raw, and act out on emotions and on what my heart wanted me to do, if only i could be an untamed,free bird, carving out my own path, brain and wishes, working in tandem,
But then 'you' chose to rise above those walls. And you still make me proud,after all these years. Strange thing, isn't it? Children being proud of their parents.
-----
When
i try to calm down my thoughts(ever running in circles, in my head) and draw
out that one day ,more than 22 years ago when i was born into this crazy world,
i can somehow just begin to understand how your world would have changed right
before your eyes.
I can,but in my own way, feel how the earth must have moved under your feet. And to make it worse, all these years have gone by and i still don't let the ground be stable for once,do i,papa?
22 years of my mayhem, of me throwing up countless tantrums and 22*365 days(Yes, i did not count the leap years papa.Chill. I still know math) when you've dealt with it all, flinching not even once.
You know that one figure you have in your life, who means everything to you, who you'd do anything for,without blinking an eye? But to express my affection for you in this manner would make it closed,restricted,if not something very unreasonable(and lack of reason is something both of us hate).
I've grown up,shaped by your liberal mindset, i say, find me a person so culturally accommodating, so scientific in his thoughts, witty and sarcastic and funny, and all this wrapped up inside the purest of hearts. Find me such a person, no, you can't.
Nobody i know can match up to your wisdom, your experience and just the fact that you know everything about everything(for you're my personal Wikipedia) and there's no other person who knows every fold in my brain and just about 'how' each tug at my heart makes me behave, nobody can spell out my actions before they unravel, and nobody can make me laugh so hard when i'm contemplating dying the next day. Nobody calls a spade a spade, to my face(and even if they do, they don't manage to get away with it). Nobody has it in their hearts to see the good in me when i act like a monster. And nobody pushes me so hard to unwrap my box of capabilities. Nobody but you,dad.
I can,but in my own way, feel how the earth must have moved under your feet. And to make it worse, all these years have gone by and i still don't let the ground be stable for once,do i,papa?
22 years of my mayhem, of me throwing up countless tantrums and 22*365 days(Yes, i did not count the leap years papa.Chill. I still know math) when you've dealt with it all, flinching not even once.
You know that one figure you have in your life, who means everything to you, who you'd do anything for,without blinking an eye? But to express my affection for you in this manner would make it closed,restricted,if not something very unreasonable(and lack of reason is something both of us hate).
I've grown up,shaped by your liberal mindset, i say, find me a person so culturally accommodating, so scientific in his thoughts, witty and sarcastic and funny, and all this wrapped up inside the purest of hearts. Find me such a person, no, you can't.
Nobody i know can match up to your wisdom, your experience and just the fact that you know everything about everything(for you're my personal Wikipedia) and there's no other person who knows every fold in my brain and just about 'how' each tug at my heart makes me behave, nobody can spell out my actions before they unravel, and nobody can make me laugh so hard when i'm contemplating dying the next day. Nobody calls a spade a spade, to my face(and even if they do, they don't manage to get away with it). Nobody has it in their hearts to see the good in me when i act like a monster. And nobody pushes me so hard to unwrap my box of capabilities. Nobody but you,dad.
----
I don't know if i should feel guilty for running to you rather than mom, for
every little thing when i was a child. They tell me of my first birthday and
how you traveled 300 kms to be there on time and from the moment you entered,
till the end of the night, i stayed right beside you,elated that you were
finally home. Or how when you'd leave for office every day,i'd go stand by the
door, repeating those words,"Papa, aa jao, darwaaza khula hai", even
when you would be gone out of the city for months.
So what if we've swapped locations now. I still miss you like the little kid who refused to leave the door until you came in, walking through. Even though over all these years, i've spelled one disaster after another, i still like to believe that i've become wiser, only because of you.
I hope i make better decisions, but i know even if i end up making some really bad ones, you'll let me exert my own free will and still walk beside me.
And i do wish i learn more and more from you, but then, i'm glad i'm already you in the making.
So what if we've swapped locations now. I still miss you like the little kid who refused to leave the door until you came in, walking through. Even though over all these years, i've spelled one disaster after another, i still like to believe that i've become wiser, only because of you.
I hope i make better decisions, but i know even if i end up making some really bad ones, you'll let me exert my own free will and still walk beside me.
And i do wish i learn more and more from you, but then, i'm glad i'm already you in the making.
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